Anecdotes · Bengal · Bengali · Sarcasm

Royal Bengal Diaries

Stuff that Bong aunties say that has the potential to piss the hell out of anyone…

1. Omaa, eki koto boro hoye gechish? (Holy Mother! Look how much you have grown!)

*Yes, I know its incredible! I was supposed to be on a Shrinking Potion!!

2. Ki mishti hoyeche go! (How sweet he has become!), promptly followed by yanking of your cheeks.

*I am sorry I did not wash my cheeks with Hydrochloric Acid.

3. Meyeke/Chheleke shaamlao, akdom bokhe galo. (Keep an eye on your daughter/son. She/he’s going out of control.)

*Yes, I have female friends and no, they are not my girlfriends.

4. Meyer/Chheler biye dao ebar, boyesh to hole. (Get your daughter/son married. She/he is reaching a marriageable age.)

*What have I ever done to you?

5. Amaader shomoye eshob hoto na baba. (These things didn’t happen in our times.)

*Yes, I know you are a dinosaur.

6. Mathaye bhalo kore tel lagao, bhalo chul hobe. (Apply ample oil on your head, you’ll have a fine hair growth)

*Why? Just so you can make me look like a nerd?

7. Amake chinte parchho? (Recognise me?)

*I have no freaking clue but what the hell! Smile and wave…

8. Amar chhele/meye porashonaye aeto bhalo je class er miss oke khub bhalo bashe. (My son/daughter is so good in studies that the teacher is absolutely in love with him/her)

*Ah… so your progeny is teacher’s pet….

9. Accha oi naach/gaan ta korte parbe tumi? (Can you dance/ sing that song?)

*I have two left feet and sound like a frog. Go away!!

10. Just when you have stuffed your second fish cutlet into your mouth at a Bengali biye (wedding) / mukhebhaat (feast), aunty pounces on you and exclaims, “Bhalo kore khaccho to, lojja peo na akdom.” (Eat properly. Don’t feel shy.)

*Lady, they had to refill the chicken lollipop counter because of me.

Controversy · Hindi

आखिर पैसा ही बोलता है।

लंदन हो या लखनऊ, लोग भाषा एक ही समझते हैं।
कोई कितना भी क्यों न बोल ले, सुनाई एक की ही देती है।

ये दुनिया गोल है साहब, और ये घूमता एक ही चीज़ के इर्दगिर्द है।
पैसा हाथ का मैल ही सही, पर आखिर बोलता वही है।

गरीब चोरी करे तो आजीवन कारावास हो जाती है।
अमीर करे तो चंद पैसे देकर तीन घंटे में ज़मानत जो जाती है।

ये दुनिया का उसूल ही है साहब,
पैसा हाथ का मैल ही सही, पर आखिर बोलता वही है।

Daily Prompt

Mr. Cranky Pants

It’s that time of the year again.

Summer. Western India. Where average temperatures are in the region of 43-44 °C.

Temperatures like that, more or less, tend to have an effect on the mind. You tend to feel lethargic. You tend to be at the edge of your temper. Temperatures like that will make you have a permanent scowl on your face.

It’s Sunday. You were really looking forward to the date you had set up during the previous minute. She called it off at the last moment without a reason.

The next day, Monday. The bus didn’t arrive on time. So you had to take a cab.

The cab wouldn’t go beyond the main street, and you had to walk for half a kilometre in the sweltering heat.

You reach the office, only to find that the AC isn’t working. You call the service centre but they can’t send anyone until the next day.

You open your inbox, but the one mail you had been expecting,regarding a lucrative deal you had almost closed the previous day, hasn’t arrived yet.

With such a spectacular start, guess what it makes you for the rest of the day.

Yep.

Cranky.

via Daily Prompt: Cranky